My tea not hot enough!

I'm insane! Incapable of thinking what i want! What i need! Urgh! Work is good though. Do i really need someone that makes me feel happy, feel wanted, feel in love, feel blessed and feel that i don't need anyone other then my lover? A lover or just a person that makes me feel great with? Friend or more than that? I don't want to feel rejected again. Thinking that i finally found someone, for sure makes me extremely feel happy. It feels like walking in clouds. But seriously, my cloud won't be there forever. It soon will gets cold and starts to rain. I even not so sure if there's a cloud or it just a thin gas that i assumed it might be a cloud. I'm not so sure what i am right now. Am i desprately need someone or it just a fling. I think i'm desprate, like those housewives in wysteria lane. Depraving for attention from someone that might care. Someone that might says 'l love you'. Or even someone that gonna share life together forever. I would dismiss all the thoughts by focusing on my career, but who am i kidding with? I'm kidding with myself. Telling myself that i don't need anyone other than myself. Lying to myself everytime i wake up in the morning. My life would be an empty mug, tea bag and sugar without hot boiling water. You can't enjoy the tea without the hot boiling water, i can't enjoy my tea without the hot boiling water. I can't get life without the passion of being in love and share the love that i have. Fuck life! I envy my tea.