I'm a love fool!

I'm a love fool. 3 years ago, i told myself not to fall in love again after i accidently felt in love without realizing that i were. It was a strange love. At that times i was totally different, i didn't even admitted that i was in love. And recently, it happened again, almost in the same situation. But i knew that i was in love, just that i didn't tell that i'm in love when i got my chance. It happened so quick and i know that it won't last. Now i miss that person. Almost everyday, there will be a person that known that person, will asking me if that person ever call me. They just make me thinking of that person more. How i wish that i never been in the same situation again. I almost take everything away from my life when the last time happened. And now, i have the same thought again.
On the last day before that person left, i send a text messages telling that i in love but some of the messages were truncated and before that person took the flight out, that person called and told me that that person had recieved. But i didn't explained, we just talk something else, i were stupid for not letting use truth out. Now, i'm regretting. The reason that i'm not telling, i don't want our friendship tarnish with this stupid feeling that i have, but i kind of ruined it.
Yesterday, i dreamt about this, from what i remembered from the dream, i had to let it go. I have to.

I miss u

Hi! It's been awhile. I'm missing the people that make me happy. I'm missing writing this blog.
Passed few months since my last entry, i had few close friends that are not with me anymore. Friends that i known from new orleans. Mike, Dawn and Stacy. But stacy and mike were the closest buddies that i had. They move on.
We had fun time, cooks dinner and dinners together.
Stacy coming back next august to do her MIT here in new orleans, while i'll never gonna see mike again.
I hung out few times with mike when he had to work overnight before he left. He had to leave early coz they put him on overnight (and now they had to put me overnight), he had enough. We shared some interesting point bout life and jokes. Which had made me reallized something bout myself. But i would never write in here, unless i'm ready.
Today i woke up at 5am. My sleeps aren't very satisfying, thanks to my crazy schedule. I did some shopping, clothes mostly. It's summer sales! I haven't been shopping since i got here, and now i'm addicted coz i'm planning to do more shopping again next week or maybe tomorrow. hmm, it shows me how bored my here, alone. sometimes, i'm having hard times dealing with my loneliness but i managed. but for how long? and everytime i felt it, i'm thinking about someone. how i miss that person. wish that i could turn back the time, and spending more time with that person before that person left. but feeling regret doesn't gives anything but let me feel guilty. wish that i could call and talk.
i'm going to sleep now, i have to work tonight. Till again.