Nothing unusual

Yikes! Yikes! The weather is so farking hot! Thanks to the news media for remind me it's hot outside. Everytime! Yeah i believe that mat salleh really like to talk about the weather. Non stop! Is it hot enough? It's hot outside, drink more water, blah blah blah. We get it already! Stop saying that it's hot! They don't have anything else to report anymore?
My off days nothing to report about. Just plain vanilla.
Friday, i worked very early morning at 4am. It's been awhile coz i'm stuck with overnight. Most morning people thought that i went back home, malaysia. So they were pretty surprised to see me that day. And some of them missed me. Haha.
I caught a mouse again! But i caught it in my room. I've been trying to get that bitch for weeks and finally i got it! At first i was thinking to keep it as a pet, so i have a roomate so that at least i can share my feeling but then, it would be not fair since i'm the only one who pay the rent. Other than that my determination really pays off! Or it's just me who has no life in new orleans.
My overnight start again last night. I got bombared again! And i got pissed with working alone. They now have put another job for overnight cook, to replenish the condiments for pizza huts station. Wow! I'm feeling so good to myself coz they trusted me to do everything for them. What's next? In charge of the whole hotel? Or wait, why don't they fired the whole people and let me run it by myself! It would awesome! Fuck that! They thought that i'm nothing else to do? Let me tell you, i work alone at night, and i have to feed overnight staffs, get ready for b'fast for other cafe, the roomservices' preps and breakdown and clean up the roomservice kitchen. I told this to the chef letting him know that i can't do all that in one night, but i'm not sure how he want to resolve this.
I have nothing else to bitch bout or i forgot to!

I'm mr. little ........

I have the urge to write bout what happened last night at my work. As usual i had to cook for the midnight staffs. What i did was, i baked chicken lasagnas (which were frozen ready made) for them because i was told to do so. Personally, i like it. But still these people really picky. They didn't even try to taste it and telling me that they don't even want to eat it. And the security people are really a bunch of jackasses. There's one of them was beyond the line of my patient, not only he was making bad remark which i don't really bothered, but he was rude enough to ask me to make something else for him. That, i can't take it. So i turned myself to be feisty. I said no. He got so pissed and he and his gang went to the security manager. Ended up, i had to make the food for them. I wished that i could really pissed on their food but i didn't. Haha. But one thing for sure, i was really bitchy. And i'm proud to it and stand on my right. haha! And this morning i told this to the chef and he told me i did the right thing. YES! By the way, they now calling me 'a little bitch'. Haha.
I just got back from hotel, helping out the other overnight bout the setup and items for new menu. I told her bout this, and she's having the same thing. But it gets interesting, when i was going to storeroom, one staff came to her telling that i never cook good meal and he didn't know that i was there. Fuck! I always home cooked meal and everyone know bout this (the people that appriciate), but sometimes when it's get busy i'm cooking hamburger and stuff. And before i left, i saw him, and he said "You are not cooking tonite, chef?". My sacarstic answer was "oh ya! You must be happy. Did i ever cook at all. I thought that i always cook frozen food." then he was trying to cover his ass and i said "whatever!". Told ya, don't ever messed up with this mr Little BITCH.
This makes me really scare bout myself for being too feisty. Me and my big mouth just crowned me the title mr little BITCH!

Error! Kesilapan!

Huh! I didn't realized that the ticketer on top of my page is wrong. I'm not coming back to Malaysia anytime soon, I'll be back in 30 July 2006.

Thanks, John for pointing that out!

The French Pastry School

We changed our menu. Damn! New menu means more work. And more item for me, the overnight guy. Not that i'm complaining just that they thought it's easy to do overnight, but i have to do all sort of stuffs, like breakfast items for room service and other outlets not including the overnight staffs meal (which they are very picky). Last night i was hammered, it was busy. I had no break at all (but they automatically minus 30 minutes from my paycheck even if i didn't take any break) because had to reorganize everything for midnight and breakfast set up.
Anyway, i saw one chef from the french pastry school from chicago in the hotel. They gonna do demostration, damn i wish that i could see it! It's been my dream to get my ass to that school, but i don't have the fund. Wish that i won a lottery, for fucking sure i'll be apply for that school on the next day! I wanted to talk to the chef and asking if they have some sort of intership for them (i'm talking bout the school) but he's kindda busy getting his stuffs ready.
Sometimes, i think that i'm stuck with hot kitchen, but my passion is pastry. And i know that i'm much better with pastry that other but heck the hotel that i'm in right now the pastry kitchen, SUCKS! I've seen much better pastry kitchen in malaysia. Wish that i have money to go to that school. If anyone who rich enough to fund me, please drop a line. I'm greatly appreciate it. I don't want to get old in hot kitchen!
Tonight gonna be my last night working for this week, hmm what i'm gonna cook for the staffs. Boiling water perhaps? I roasted tenderloins last night serve with sun-dried tomatoes marinara and whole grains pasta, it was awesome, but some of them were picky coz they don't like tomatoes, so what they did were, they took hell a lot of beef without leaving for the rest behind. Fuck! So i had to grill chix for the rest. Taking more of precious times. My precious... From LOTR. HAHAHA. Oh! I've seen the march of the penguins, it's awesome! Love it!

Arg! Tension nyee

The days passed so fast! It's been 6 months now, yeah! Another one year to go! But then I would stress myself for not been able to accomplish certain things that I promised myself to do. Nevermind, people said, but heck no!

This morning when I just got back from work, I was surprised that I saw a rat (or what they called here, mouse) in my room! Fuck! I thought the house that I live in, is clean, heck no (again!). What do you expect? New Orleans is a clean place? Hahahaha.. Damn this place such a dirty place, so people really doesn't care about being clean or cleaning up! I saw few advertisment about being clean and keep it clean, but I guessed it doesn't work!

I'm feeling good!

Nothing much happened since my last post. Just to mention that i'm been nominated for employee of the month. It's quite surprise that they nominate me since i've been here less than 6 months. But i know what it has been, i've been working my ass of without kissing any managers asses like some other externs doing. I just being myself and flaring my like-ability and bitchy attitude to everyone and it's working! Alright maybe not those factors but it's my hardworks. This news does makes me feel good bout myself.

Breakout!

Urgh! There is a big acne on my face! I hate it! I could even see it from a glare of my left eye. It's so big like it screaming to everyone that i have breakout. I seldom have a breakout because i really taking care of my hygiene but i don't know why. I think my raging hormon of stress.
Lately i do notice that i'm having a mood swing everyday. One day i'm all excited and next minute i'll be all feisty. But past three nights, i'm all good and hyper.
There's only one thing that always in my mind, i want to be in relationship. I want to have a person to be in love with. Damn! Wish that i would never have this thought again.

Mice in a cup

It's been two days where angela doesn't talk to me. Angela is a room service staff that i work with. She doesn't talk much english but i do understand her. It happened 2 nights ago where she was busy. When she's busy, she can get a bit upset. But it get worse when someone stole her pizza that she's supposed to sent and i was there. I was hyper that night because i was on drug.
But i was trying to help by cutting the pizza and put under the heater and someone took it away. After that happened, i was trying to cheer her up by asking her to smile but it didn't help. But i did it in very irritating way. I'll be irritating and crazy when i'm in hyper mode. She told me that she's not gonna talk to me because she's busy. And i became very quiet to her since then. I don't think it's my fault at all.
Anyway, last night i caught two mice with my hand. Haha. I was hyper again and did all the crazy stuff. I've been known to my elder brothers to catch mouse or rat alive with hand. I still remember that when i was staying with my eldest, we have rats problem. Almost every week there will be a rat crawling in the house. There's one time, he had to wake me up in early morning just to ask me to catch a huge rat in the bathroom. Hey, i might be look like flamboyant (other word for gayish) but i'm dare to catch rats. Oh! What happened this morning was, i kept the mice in a cup to show to the morning staffs that come later. From what i know, all of them sacred of mouse. Even our senior banquet chef. He even told me politely to throw away the mice coz he was sacred and asked how did i caught the mice. Everyone was taking about it on how i caught the mice. Haha. That's what i call my erratic behaviour! This sort of thing, makes me laughing all day. I bet they'll remember this day!

Too much sleep!

It's may sound funny but i miss working. I had 3 days off. I've been spending it with myself. I slept most of the times and i had too much sleep which i don't really like. But i spend sometimes working out and reading some cooking books. Tonight i'm back to work again, can't wait.
Stacy called me to say hi. Good to hear from her. She's not coming back to new orleans until in mid september.
I had an email from mike, he'll be back to new york next week, i think.
My brother email me and we chatted thru emails. He told me that my dad bought new car, it's a jaguar. He sold his mercedes for a jag. I thought that he always a mercedes fan.
The heat in new orleans suddently reminds me how i miss home. I was listening to john mayer and out of now where, all the memories come back to me. I used to listen to him while i was back there. It's been 6 months since i got here. And this is the first time, i miss home so much but it doesn't makes me want to cry yet ;) I have another year to go before i'm done. But before that, i might looking for chances to work in united states for a few more years. But for sure, i'll be back home next august.

Stormy night

It was a stormy night. Not my mood but the weather. Cindy came to visit new orleans. Thank god that i was working. But i did saw the wind gushing about 70mph outside the hotel. Wow! My first american storm. When my shift was over, i saw lots of debris everywhere. And fortunately my room is okay. I was worried about my room since i live at the attic. Everything is okay.
There's nothing much going on last night just that i got one big order. They ordered everything in the menu. The best part was that, it was from two girls that fortunate enough to spend daddy's money on everything. Damn! Lucky bitches.
Towards the end of my shift, i noticed that fred and luis doesn't really like each other. Luis said something funny or bitching about fred. Haha. The more i spend time in that kitchen, the more i know the politics and the bitching behind those friendly smiles. I bet they also bitching about me but who care! But if they got caught, i'll be the most horrified biatch they'll ever seen. Just kidding, but really, i'm not gonna keep quiet, for sure i'll join the bitching club. As for now, i just be the spectator for this drama.

Email from the past

Few years ago, my hotmail was deleted because i didn't check my mails for months, all my emails were gone and a month before i got in new orleans i moved all my mails to another email account. Last night, i did a clean-up, which i deleted few emails that not important. But strangely enough, i found an email dated back 7 years ago from a long lost friend that i known from internet chat room. I was stumped from what i found. I email her back to see if that email address still valid. It's still valid, i have not get a undelivered email yet. Hopefully, she gets it and reply to me soon. Is that weird or what!
A part from the email thing, i have found that sometimes i can be a push over guy. Which i'm not entirely happy about it. I always say yes, hard to say no. But i believe that if i did something to please someone or a good deed, at least it makes me feels good. And sometimes, it stress me up. Trying to please everyone, or to say being diplomatic with everyone. But what if, all the good deeds that i do are just a cover-up all the bad stuffs that i did before because we all at least being to bit judging over everyone. When we see small good deed, we not going to see the bad behaviour behind it, same goes another way around. I'm not saying that i'm a good or a bad person, but everytime when i feel myself being to nice to people, i couldn't simply said no. And sometimes, i regreted. There's a reason why i'm thinking like this, someone asked me if i were a gay, and i told them that will it makes any different if i were. Am i being nice to people because i'm were a gay. And guess what? They couldn't answer me that. But one of them is so cocky telling me what a waste if i were. Who the hell is he to judge me and telling me that i (or other gays) would be a waste. Fuck
Waiting for laundry can be sometimes really bored and makes me thinking strange stuffs like this. But at least i didn't think that i'm having a demonic behaviour. But if i were, how cool is that! Muahahaha!

I'm the b-yatch.

I knew this day will happened soon or later. Kitchen was busy for the past three days. Last night was the last. But i think that i had a bad night as soon as i woke up before work. I don't know why. I was quiet most of the time. The long night was over. Me and celika were dead beat. Tired. Then the morning person came, not fred, but luis. I always have respect on him, but today hmm, he made a comments saying that we both didn't do our job properly. Heya! What the fuck! It was busy! We managed to pull out all the stuffs before he came. He even told me that i didn't cook the motherfucking grits! Hell! I cooked my grits, just that he assume that i didn't. Everyone know that i cook it. And i got bitchy afterwards to him. And before that thing happened, there's this married guy were asking me bout stacy. I thought that he were asking me bout how she is doing, but he asking me if she missed him. Well, he asking me the wrong question. I'm sure that the demon just being release. I turned to a biatch. Well, i know i'm a biatch, but this morning i am the biatch!
Anyway, my mom called me. I was nervous. Coz she never called me before, well she called me few times, but it was long time ago. I thought that something happened. She just asking if i'm alright and asking my payment. Well that's her. All she can thinks is money.

Good start!

Work was good eventhough it was busy as a heavy traffic at a small road. It was non-stop! Luckily i wasn't alone. I was with c. I can't remember her name. She's a new overnight cook. I'm training her. It's my previlage to train someone. Oh! The reason that it was busy last night because it's essence music festival in new orleans. God! If she wasn't with me, i would be crying for help!
I told everyone that mike had called me and said hi to them. They were suprise!
My mood is good today, and hoping that it will last whole day. I don't know why i'm in such a good mood, maybe because of his call? Or maybe i'm happy that soon i'm not going to be doing overnight. But lately, after i decided to confront my own fear of self-rejection and decided to be open to myself, i feel like i'm living in brand new me. Even not everyday, i feel like brand new, but still i don't feel like hating myself anymore. I'm more aware with what i'm thinking, i'm not putting myself in a situation where i have to think negatively bout myself. But still, i'm not willing or still hard to tell my feeling over someone, even to someone close.

The calls

I was awaken by an expected calls last night. First was Ro, she is one of my co worker for graveyard shift. She thought that i was working last night. Then again another phone call at 12.34am, by non other than my dear california friend. I have not heard anything from him since 2 weeks ago. To tell the truth, i was kindda missed him. We talked almost an hour. Missed talking with him. I was kindda not wanting to call him for few weeks, just wanted to see he if actually will called me, since i'm not so sure how occupied he is. I wanted to call but i'm working overnight and most of the day i'm sleeping and that's hard for me to call him. But i'm glad that he called. Maybe some other time i'll call him instead.
Alright, i'm going for my short nap before going to work tonight. Darn, it's gonna be busy tonight!